Tuesday, February 3, 2009

CASE CLOSED PART 2 "OUR SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS"

  
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Ok, so we had an unexpected twist since our last episode, that I might as well share with you as much as I don't want to.  So we last left off with the cursing of the stupid cat who possibly took Bert's glasses, and was now prancing around the female felines feeling like his I.Q. was now magically higher then it really is, kinda like when I go from blonde to brown hair...

Sunday came and went and it was now evening in the "Sam" home. The Cardinals lost the Super Bowl at the last minuet or so, and it didn't really effect the family, they didn't watch it but had updates texted to them from time to time. And since Bert didn't have his glasses anyway, it wouldn't have mattered much if they did watch it, he wouldn't be able to see it. 
Bert had been super helpful Sunday evening getting the house in order so that Brandi could start her week off right ( but a good stiff drink would have probably done the trick too and would of saved Bert some time).....Ok, Brandi doesn't drink and never has except that one time she took a sip from her dads beer, but that's another story....She doesn't want to talk about it.
Sooooo, Brandi's Visiting teacher had stopped by and dropped off a beautiful lemon meringue pie for dessert. And since that diet doesn't start until after her baby is born, she welcomed it with Open Arms...And it was good. Perfectly sweet and yet tart.
"Kids time to get Jammies on" Bert yelled to the kids upstairs, "then you can have some pie" he continued.  "I can't wait to get kids in bed" Brandi thought to herself. It had been a long day, and she was looking forward to a quiet night, maybe a bath, watch a movie, a good book, anything to relax. The kids were quick to obey due to the "pie factor" and Brandi could hear Bert dishing up orders for the kids...he was so patient with them, and Brandi loved him a lot at that moment. "Here you go Lynnard" Bert said as he handed her some pie in bed. Lynnard was her "pet name" if you could call it that. She was rarely called "Brandi" by Bert unless Bert had something serious to talk about or if his mood was a little on the "cloudy" side,  to which she was then usually cautious in approaching to him because she knew she was in trouble. But he called her "Lynnard" so all was well. "Thanks honey" she said, she had been typing away furiously at her laptop, writing some kind of story he could see, but he didn't dare break her concentration further, he could only see something about "Mystery Theatre"...
The kids had finished eating and bounded into Brandi's room where the routine of brushing and flossing began. One by one the kids brushed and then one by one the lined up for dad to rebrush the spots they missed. (Except for Minnie who ate mom's pie on the sly) They were good sports and used to this routine, they just backed up into dad who sat on the edge of the tub and threw back their heads and opened wide for their dental inspection. Bert liked to pretend he was a dentist but really he was a "Food Processor Mechanic" which to him translated into "dentist" and sounded more professional, the kids thought it was funny and Brandi didn't really care what career he had as long as he was happy doing it. And he was.
The kids passed inspection and gathered on mom's bed to say family prayer. After a moment of playing, " No, it's your turn" dad decided to end the game and say it. Minnie their youngest still had the "wiggles" on occasion, and still thought there was plenty of room on mom's lap for her to sit, which made Brandi feel good mentally, but physically was a whole different story. But luckily dad's prayers are short which explains why he always says "couples prayer", because whenever Brandi say's it it's followed by the same predictable comment each time from Bert, "wow, I could of said all that in like 1 min instead of 10." " I obviously have more to be thankful for", was the only come back she could ever think of. And on occasion when he was especially sassy she would bring up the whole "reading scriptures on their wedding night because someone was nervous and trying to be spiritual and kill time" incident. This topic usually quieted him down.... So with prayers done the last major haul of the night was getting the kids upstairs and into bed....And then of course coaxing Minnie to stay in bed... 
The house was silent and Bert had company over for some well needed business chatting that couldn't wait until Monday. Which was fine, that meant Brandi could have her pick of the movie to watch. She carefully chose her movie and got all comfy in her sweats that she hadn't actually changed out of for 2 weeks now, -she doesn't want to talk about that either. Got her water, kleenex, meds, nasal spray (she was a mess actually, not really a picture of health) and was ready to relax and watch "The Devil Wears Prada"  As she laid in bed watching all the models look so glamourous and actually having a place where the had to be and had to dress up so nice she pictured herself in the "big Apple" Running down the crowded streets because she was late for a meeting or a "Shoot", she didn't get  very far because she tripped in her stilettos due to a knock at the door and the scream of "mommy" from the other side and that quickly shook her from her day dream and brought her back to "earth" real fast. The door Burst open and in broken semi understandable english, Minnie was talking a mile a minuet with the biggest smile on her face arms flying. Brandi had to say "what? " several times to try to decipher out the message from this foreign sounding little munchkin of a girl. Well, turns out Minnie had found dad's glasses. Brandi turned to the porch where Bart was sitting chatting with his friend and he pointed to his glasses. She then turned to Minnie who was just beaming and was so proud of her discovery, she knew she had done good. Brandi hugged and kissed Minnie and Minnie explained that dad had left them in her room when they had snuggled that night before. "Of Course" thought Brandi, "he fell asleep out side then bolted in the house to take care of Minnie and slept upstairs with her for a bit before coming to bed." The pieces had all come together. SHe kissed Minnie and told her what a great job she did, especially since she didn't even realize that Minnie was aware of the missing glasses, which in turn made her realize that Minnie picked up on more then Brandi thought, which made Brandi quickly evaluate herself and wonder ...what other things Minnie knew...She couldn't think about that now, her thoughts were on the return of the glasses and as happy as she was that she wasn't going to have to fork over money to again buy another pair of glasses that had disappeared unnecessarily (2 pairs at Lake Powell, 2 or 3 at Saguaro Lake due to over excitement and just jumping in the water without a thought) Brandi had to admit that she was bummed that her "Cat" theory had just gone to pot. She really wanted another reason to hate those dang cats, as if using their yard and garage for their own kitty litter box and mating ground and fighting arena weren't enough. And one did run into her house the other day when one of the kids left the front door open but luckily "Zoe" her second oldest grabbed the cat before it made it's way upstairs, it still was a bitter disappointment that she knew deep down she would have "to kinda" repent for. No, she wasn't going to approach "catman" about her theory on the glasses and apologize, she would simply try to hate the stupid cats a little less, and possibly quit plotting to get rid of them...Those dad gum cats....

8 comments:

BROOKLYNandJEFF said...

I hate cats too! In fact, I don't brake for them, don't tell P.E.T.A! Anyway, I am glad the glasses were found. Love your stories! And towards the end you said "Bart" instead of "Bert". Caught ya!

Andrea said...

They did still sit on your comfy chair! Congratulation to Taylor! A wedding in May is tough. I've had to do worse though~ Paul and Bernice made me be in their line when I was 8 mos. prego and the dress was shiny lavendar...I looked like a big thing of cotton candy! Oh and all the other girls were tiny teenagers. Love the adventures of the Sam family and the hard to understand little girl...I have one of those too ;)

Torrie and the girls said...

Yeah, never been a cat fan. I too wonder what my little one picks up on, luckily nothing too condemning has come out in the nursery confessional yet. Glad you got to avoid buying more glasses, but I am bummed I don't get to buy "Bert" an old lady neck chain. ;) Very clever.

Jenny said...

Sounds like a great candidate for LASIKS! :)

Jenna Marie said...

You're a great writer! :) Love it! :)

Just checking to see how you are doing. I get little updates from Kellie once in a while, but wanted to ask. :) We only have a little bit to go! Woohoo! :)

Laura said...

You crack me up! What? bed rest? what happened? We'll have to bring Cory over there to see you. I also hate cats and dogs for that matter. I will look for any excuse to blame the dogs.

Anonymous said...

Ok you are seriously so funny! I am so lucky to have such a witty sister in law. I talked to Bart last night and he "pretended" not to know anything about the story...maybe he really doesn't? Anyway I enjoyed reading. It took me a couple days to finish Part 2 but really enjoyed! You are hilarious. I miss you and wish I could be there for the birth of Ollie. Dang it. I know you would totally want me in the delivery room and everything. Maybe I'll fly down...just kidding I know your "pitters" as you call them are sweating. But really I am so excited to be an auntie again. I love you guys

Jamie Sue said...

Yay! You're alive and well, I was wondering for awhile! :) That's funny that you said that Guyver needs a buddy, cause a few weeks ago, Hunter was talking to me and she said, "Mom, you're gonna have a baby, and it's gonna be a boy, cause I want Guyver to have a buddy." This came TOTALLY out of the blue, so I'm hoping she was inspired. That would be fun if we all had boys. It's time to get some boys representin in the fam. :)